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Comments

  1. AimeeSeptember 30, 2018 at 1:18 PM

    Dear Danielle,

    You've done an excellent job of keeping this in scene; we are in a particular place and time, and the tension is high, particularly in the second part of the piece when the stakes are raised. The images seem somewhat random, but I can go with it, because I like that you haven't done the "say and see;" you don't have exact images that correspond to the text. Think about your viewer though--should I be able to interpret more with the image and text because in some places, I wasn't sure about your choices. Think too about how Sam plays into this piece. She's largely absent for the most important part of the story, and because you start with her, we think she will play a bigger role. This is first a story about friendship and then one about being taken--how do these two ideas come together? Why is it that Sam can't save her? Where are they going on the train? How old are they? Many questions raised here that could be answered if you decide to expand on this idea in another project. I like the strength of your voice and your ability to keep us moving. I would read your work endlessly.

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