Danielle Brazer 1 SHOT: Text: Danny Preslar: brother’s best friend, black hair, ice blue eyes, handsome, the first boy I was in love with. I remember purposely leaving my door open when him and my brother would hangout in the room next to mine so he could say hi if he passed by it. I remember wearing revealing clothes when he came over to see if he would look at me. Dan took my virginity that summer, he never knew how much I liked him. He broke my heart in two when he left for college and forgot all about me. I stayed sad for a long time. I loved him, I felt like I would do anything for him, that I could touch his skin and his only for eternity. I was sure that I would want him forever. I was 15 though. Music: low and upbeat Music in the background, narration over music Display: Zoom out of picture slowly SHOT 2-9: 8 VIDEOS OF MY PARENTS AND HOME LIFE: Text: My Mom and Dad met senior year of high school on the gym bleachers during homeroom where the school gathered in the mor...
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteYou've done an excellent job of keeping this in scene; we are in a particular place and time, and the tension is high, particularly in the second part of the piece when the stakes are raised. The images seem somewhat random, but I can go with it, because I like that you haven't done the "say and see;" you don't have exact images that correspond to the text. Think about your viewer though--should I be able to interpret more with the image and text because in some places, I wasn't sure about your choices. Think too about how Sam plays into this piece. She's largely absent for the most important part of the story, and because you start with her, we think she will play a bigger role. This is first a story about friendship and then one about being taken--how do these two ideas come together? Why is it that Sam can't save her? Where are they going on the train? How old are they? Many questions raised here that could be answered if you decide to expand on this idea in another project. I like the strength of your voice and your ability to keep us moving. I would read your work endlessly.